Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
