I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
