Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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