It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
