Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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