My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
