remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
