He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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