You can't special order awesome
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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