I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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