I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
