My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize