Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
