he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
