Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
