coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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