Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
