I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize