hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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