Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
