Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
