brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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