I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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