i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
