just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
