You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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