All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
