my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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