i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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