I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Text me some of your sweat
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
