I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
