matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Operation Purity has been aborted
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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