ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Buhtt sex?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
