Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
