Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
