I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
