i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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