you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
