in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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