Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
