ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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