what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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