Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
