you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
