I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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