I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
