Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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