So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
