I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
