Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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