I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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