He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
