ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
