if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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