So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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