the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
