I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
