Dual....:-)
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
